Meant to be?

Hmm. Okay so, let me tell you a news. I don't know if it's a good one or not... Well, last week we had an argument to our thesis adviser. He got pissed at us for not following his "suggestion". Dumb ass. It's a suggestion we have the right to decided whether to follow it or not. Anyways, he doesn't want to handle us anymore and told us to look for another adviser or just dissolve the group. He even called our professor in charge with our class and told him to distribute us to the other groups. to be honest, I was quite happy about that! Nah. Let me change it, I am trilled about that! I hate working on something that I don't like. I am not a liar - that I proved that during this semester. Call me stubborn but I hate lying to others especially to myself, so I always express my views and opinions. Unfortunately our adviser didn't appreciate that. He probably thinks that we're arrogant, which we are sometimes - I guessed?

I hate conforming with wrong. I think I finally had the guts to say no and to express myself. For God sake, I'm on my senior year! I must at least be able to express myself. I am proud of that, but the same time I am worried. I am quite stubborn, like I literally fight for something I think is right and won't give up until you accept it or you'll give me one damned good reason - explanation why you are right. Sometimes, I even test that person if he/she can defend his/her point. Yes, I can be very very argumentative.  I tried to toned it down of course, but sometimes I couldn't help teasing them. I think maybe I adapt that behavior to one of my best bud. He likes questioning things and stubborn too. And it pissed me off! Like I hate talking to him. Lol - Now I adapt that stupid behavior of his. But now I get it why he does that.

Anyways, back to that adviser. So we tried to apologize, I don't want too but I have to stop being selfish and think about my other group mates as well. Then we (they) begged to him to accept us again and we promised to do "our" research in his on way. Shit! Whenever I think about that I still get pissed! So they did most of the talking  and I just I have to do the "sad" face. I hate lying! I hate saying things that I don't really mean. So I shut up. Their are lots of moment where I wanted to talk and argue with him since he's being sarcastic and stupid, but I hold back - again I have to think for my group mates. Their grades are at risk as well. But hell! My diploma is still hanging by the thread!

So they do all the sweet talking. They say things that they didn't mean. I don't blame them for that. If I were the same 2 years ago, I probably do the same but the thing is I changed.

SO we're back again with our adviser, and were doing "his" research, and he calls it "our" thesis. Fvck!

I actually prayed and begged to God to get rid of him as our thesis adviser, so I was actually positive about it since God has been nothing but nice to me. But this time, he didn't answer my prayers. Now, I'm thinking maybe He have greater plans for me? maybe that adviser and us are meant to be? lol

I don't know what future awaits for all of us, but I hope its a good one.

God, I'll leave it to you. I tried it, we already did our very best in defying that adviser, but it seems that you want us to stay with him. Maybe I will learn something from this.

I hope that you're still with me, that you're on my side - always.

And oh, sorry! Sorry God, please forgive me.