So I was seating in our sofa and right beside me there's a book. It was a book about the teaching of Jesus Christ and God. The author talks about her experiences and other people stories and she relates it to the words in bible - words of God. It's been there for like years, my mom was the one who was reading that but I never actually saw her read that. So I tried reading it before but I got bored so I stop.
A while ago, I was pissed at my youngest sister then I suddenly remember my friend who told me how shock she and the entire class when they heard me speak - read in english. I guessed you could say that I have this perfect western accent. It's my talent, imitating different nations accent. I can also guess your nationality by just talking, not because I am familiar with their language rather I was familiar with their accent. So I want to try reading out loud to hear if what she's saying is true - if there's really a wow factor.
~~~~~~~ So I grab this book at my left side, turn to page whatever my hand tuned on and read it out loud. And of course in reading aloud you must also understand it. So while reading it since it's about God and religion, I am more cautious. I have my own belief and most of the times I try to questions other people's religion because I don't belong to any religion but I could proudly say that I do believe in God. So as I am reading, I find myself saying okay on what she's saying but also there are parts where I couldn't understand what she's saying. I try to read the different pages (every page talks about different topic), so I turn into this page that talks about Jesus Christ. I used to question Jesus Christ. Like, why people follow him? why he's the way through our God? Why do they call him the "Only Son" of God???
I grew up knowing that we are all sons and daughters of God, and yet there is Christ who they call the only son of God? As a child it was very confusing. I was a roman catholic, and to be honest I think it was that religion that makes me question everything about God. They have this contradictory teaching. We have religion class when I was in grade school and none of my teachers actually makes me accept that religion. So I must say that I grew up doubting religion and it makes me also doubt God. I also got to the point where I say I don't believe in God, but it was all thanks to Him that I was able to find Him again.
Until now I am still in the deep quest of understanding God. But I must say that I do believe in Him. I just want to have a better understanding of Him - to serve Him. I accepted God, but not Jesus Christ. For me he's just a prophet. I didn't understand it before why they call him the only son of God while they say that we are all child of God. It's very irritating and confusing. So I must say that I envied, I was jealous. I had this question - Why him? Why is he the chosen one if all of us are God's child. I was embarrass for that jealousy of mine. I was just like Judas or Satan?
But after reading that book, that phrase "He is the only son of God" I thought it was gonna make me feel irritated but I didn't. I suddenly remember one Muslim said to me that we are not the child of God, he is our creator our parents our Adam and Eve. Then I remember the story about how was Jesus Christ was born that it was the Holy Spirit, that was sent by God. He's not really like us, but God wants to make us feel closer to him that's why he wants his son to be with us - to live on earth. He's like our half brother (just kidding)! He gave us his son, and through Jesus Christ we could reach God.
So yea, after that realization. That question was gone, not totally though - of course I still have a lot of understanding to do. I still doubt religions.
Anyways, I want to thank God for answering my question that I've been asking for ever since I was young.
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