Feelings

I am nice to everyone - to anyone, and I think it's pretty normal but why do people get so confused with that? I feel like I'm dealing with the same old situation. Back then, a guy fall for me because I am nice to him, which I am to almost everyone. Our classmate always makes fun of him or should I say it is somewhat bullying? I was trying to help him out and I was the one who sometimes stand by his side, when someone will hide his bag or shoes, I'll get it for him because I know it's the right thing to do. The suddenly I found out that he likes me. I was like "OMG. Why?" And the class starts teasing us, and of course it pissed me off! Not because they are making fun of me but because I don't know how to respond with that kind of situation. I don't see him anything more than a friend. I don't really accept feelings that I can't return, I don't even appreciate it. I know it's bad, but that's how I am. I just don't want him to be stuck around him and I am freakin aware that he got no chance. I don't want anyone to waste their love for someone like me, I want them to find someone who could accept and appreciate their love. Then... because he can't stop liking me, I started acting rude and bad around him, even though I hate being like that but for me at that time that was the best thing to do so that he could get over with that feelings of him for me. There are times when he would insist his feelings for me that makes me angry! When I say "NO" that means NO! Can't they get it? I don't want that sort of feelings! I can be his friend or even best friend but not "lover". And now, I think things happening again, and with a kind of guy that I don't really like, I don't even consider him as a friend! So things got so awkward around him, I don't like him! So I hope he will stop liking me or even better if he doesn't really have any feelings for me :)


There are times, that I regret acting so cruel when I found out their feelings for me. I keep saying to myself that I should appreciate that feelings of theirs, and I think I do it just that it sucks to know that I can't give the same feelings. I want them to give those feelings to someone who truly deserves it.